I was a 'normal' guy, 36 years old, married to a great woman called Laura and had 3 gorgeous kids, Joe at 14, Darren at 13 and Hannah at 11. I lived in a 4 bedroomed detached house in a good housing estate, near to family and friends. I also owned my own advertising company which was doing well (Still do and is), with loads of contracts and jobs coming in and it kept the money rolling in. I thought myself as a kind and caring boss to all my staff and I hoped that they respected me more for it.

Ok so my life and marriage wasn't brilliant. We had or ups and downs, and the last couple of months we hadn't made love, or been intimate once. Marriage guidance had helped, but after 16 years of marriage, I think we both knew what was coming. Yeah so I loved her and she loved me but something was missing for the both of us, especially me. My kids mean the world to me, so we stayed together. We remained good friends though and got along well.

I was bi-sexual, well I'd experienced gay sex when I was younger and found to like it. Since I met Laura, I hadn't really thought about it, or another man. I'd look and admire, but nothing would come of it and I wondered if maybe that was the problem, that maybe I needed to do something to get it out of my system. I never did and vowed to never cheat on Laura and we had both agreed on that. I would leave before going into another relationship and she said the same thing. She knew about my sexuality and at first it worried her, but she trusted me and I trusted her.

So the week started off as normal. Monday morning I got up, showered, shaved, dressed and had breakfast. As I was about to leave the house, the post came so I picked it up. I decided to open my mail at work. Sitting in my office, I opened up the bills, then there was an envelope with just my name on, no address, just my name in handwriting. It looked like a birthday card type envelope. Inside was a plain card with a red heart on the front, and inside that, read

'Daniel You are a wonderful person and mean a lot to everyone, mean a lot to me. I love you with all my heart and soul. All my love, your secret admirer xxx'

I stared at the card for what must have been ages, before my secretary walked in. I quickly came back to life and hid the card away. The look on my face must have been one of shock and suprise because she came rushing up to me like I'd just passed out. I thanked her but made no mention of it, and we discussed buisness for that week.

When she left I looked at the card again. I didn't recognise the handwriting, but then again I was sure it was disguised. I thought about who it could be, maybe it was Laura, maybe someone at work or female friends. Maybe it was just a simple prank, a joke to make me think someone actually fancied me. Yes that was it, a joke.

I never gave it another thought and put the card in my draw, but casually kept a closer eye on people as I walked around my building and offices. Maybe someone would give something away somehow.

Nothing came of it until 4 days later on the Friday. As I walked to my car in the morning, there was a single red rose held down by the windscreen wipers. I picked it up and looked around me for any signs of unusual behaviour. Nothing. I took it off and drove to work. When I got there, in my parking space was another single red rose. I was seriously beginning to think someone was having me on.

Going into work I looked at everyone again. So this person knew where I worked and where I lived. I suppose that narrowed it down a little, but still, most people at work knew where I lived.

Mary, my secretary came in with a coffee. She smiled and said good morning as she normally did. Was it her? At 52 she was a little too old for me. Anyway I doubted it, she was very happily married and had just renewed her wedding vows. But then again?

I tried not to think about it again, but I couldn't help confess my problem to Andy, Steve and Marco that night in the pub. Andy was my best mate since childhood, Steve we had known for a few years and Marco we had met at the gym, 3 years back. They all laughed it off and thought it was funny.

"You seriously think you have a secret admirer Dan?" Andy asked laughing at my expense.

"Well how do you explain it then? You know I'm starting to look at people differently, wondering if anyone could be her."

"Or him." Marco butted in.

"No guys it's a woman, I'm sure of it." I laughed.

We all sat there quiet for a moment. I hadn't thought of it being a guy. So a few people knew about my sexuality, I didn't hide it from anyone. Andy, Steve and Marco knew. Hell, me and Andy had sex when we were teenagers, wanking and sucking each other off like you do when growing up and we never thought anything about it. Most guys do the same thing, expect my feelings for guys became a bit stronger. Thats when I knew I liked guys as well as girls and we stopped messing about. I even fancied Andy at one point and if I were honest I still found him attractive, but gave it no more thought. They also knew about my troubling marriage and lack of sex life.

"Hey it could be that hot new neighbour of yours mate?" Steve asked.

"Fuck yeah she's gorgeous." Andy answered. We chuckled. "I'd do her."

"What about you're wife?" I asked smiling.

"I'd settle for a threesome." He casually said, then grinned.

We shook our heads in despair. That lad will never grow up.

We carried on chatting and I got pissed. We soon forgot about the secret admirer.

The following Monday in my office, the phone rang but when I answered it, they hung up. This happened numerous times that week. I wondered if it was the 'admirer'. I dialled out to see what number it was but it said 'the caller withheld their number'. Typical.

On the Thursday I recieved a bunch of flowers and chocolates. I asked the delievery guy which flower shop he was from and decided to phone them and find out who ordered them. A woman answered the phone and I told her who I was and what I wanted.

"Sorry love, the person who ordered the flowers gave the instructions by our website. It's a new system we have for those who want to be kept anonymous. I don't know who ordered them. Sorry I cannot help you."

I thanked her anyway and put the phone down. Fuck! Still, I ate the chocolates.

"Who are they from Daniel?" Mary asked, walking in.

I allowed my collegues and employees to call me by my first name. It doesn't seem as boss-like that way. "Wish I knew Mary." I replied, offering her a chocolate. "Would you mind finding a vase for these?" I asked politely.

"Not at all." She answered grabbing a chocolate and the flowers then walked out of the office.

I was honestly baffled by all the secret admirer stuff. I needed to know who it was soon before I cracked up. I even started looking at my new neighbour like Steve had suggested, but she gave no indication of finding me attractive or wanting me.

Nobody at work did either, except for Janice. Now Janice and I got along well. She started working for me 5 years beforehand and we flirted something big. She was hot, but had a boyfriend. Still she was one possibility.

At the gym there were a few people we spoke to. Brad was a hot guy and he knew I fancied guys as well as girls. We flirted around also, and he asked me out a number of times. We went out just as mates and I really liked him. In fact I stopped seeing him because I felt like I was cheating. Maybe it was him, maybe he felt more for me than I realised. He wouldn't be a bad choice, maybe something could happen between us.

At home or in our local pub, a few girls caught my eye, as well as a couple of guys. There was a woman who I had spoke to a few times and got along with. Helen was her name. We didn't speak enough to arrange a date, but we flirted. I thought maybe it was her. But could she love me? I didn't think so.

Bt then again it could be anyone I know or speak to. It was a mystery.

That Friday night again sat in the pub, I told my friends about the mysterious phone calls and flowers and chocolates.

"My my Daniel, they have got it bad." Marco chuckled.

"Oh come on lads it isn't funny now. I need to know before I go mad. I'm wondering if I should tell Laura."

"It could be her mate, trying to make it up to you. She may want to get back together." Andy suggested.

I thought about it. "Hey it could be. But why wouldn't she just tell me to my face?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Secrecy and thrill of it Dan."

So that night at home I asked her if she was my secret admirer. She just laughed.

"Secret admirer? Don't flatter yourself. No it's not me, but it sounds like the girl really loves you." Laura replied.

I sighed and hopped into the shower. I really tried to rack my brain with who it could be. There were people who I thought of, Helen, Janice, Brad, James, even Mary my secretary. Mary was more like a mother to me though. I told her things like I told Andy, so it really couldn't be her. But there could be others I didn't know about.

Stepping out of the shower, I dried myself and looked in the mirror at my naked form. So I wasn't bad looking, my body was ok. 6ft 1 tall, ash blond hair and blue eyes and an average shape face. I had a reasonable amount of body hair in all the right places, my muscles were average from working out in the gym and I had an average build. My chest was smooth as well as my ass, tanned and toned. My flaccid cock hung about 3-4 inches and grew to 6 1/2 when erect, quite thick and uncut, so I'm pretty average there as well.

But thats me....average. Why would anyone go to the trouble of wanting to be my secret admirer? Theres nothing special about me. Why would this person go to all this trouble?

I didn't sleep much that weekend.

It was soon Monday again and the start of the third week for my admirer and my troubles. Going to work, I entered my office to find another bunch of flowers and this time a card. I sat down and opened it up. The writing was hand written, but I figured it would be the shop lady's writing.

Daniel. I know this has been troubling you, and I know you have been wracking your brains trying to figure out who I am. One day soon, I hope to tell you to your face. All you need to know right now is that I love you. I love you like no other and always will, but all will be revealed soon enough. All my love, your secret admirer xxx

I read it time and time again. I decided to phone my best mate Andy, but he was busy in a meting. So I phoned Steve, figuring he'd know what to do.

"Hey Dan how's things?" He asked.

"I'm ok but I got another bunch of flowers and this time a message."

"Oh ok what does it say?" He asked.

I told him word for word. "So what do you think?" I asked afterwards.

Steve remained quiet. He spoke up. "Not sure but sounds like this person either really loves you or is taking the piss."

"You think it's still a joke?" I asked him.

"What do you think? They're going to a lot of trouble if it is. Just leave it and see what happens. If it's a joke then it's a sick one."

"Yeah I guess so. Thanks anyway Steve. Hey you think it's a woman then?"

"Don't know, but not many people know you're Bi mate, so I'm guessing it is."

"Yeah probably. Thanks mate, seeya Friday." I said.

"Ok seeya." He said then hung up.

I couldn't concerntrate all day. Mary found another vase to put the flowers in and I think even she was curious to know who the mystery woman was, since I'd told her. She said she would listen out for me, to see if anyone said or did anything unusual and I thanked her.

At the gym, I stared over at Brad, and he was looking over at me and I thought it was him, but didn't say anything so I flrted back.

Nothing came of it and I never recieved any letters, phone calls, flowers or choclates for the next three weeks after that. I figured that the person who was doing it had either given up or let their feelings pass. I got back into my work, and life seemed to return to normal again.

I was secretly hoping to hear from this person again, secretly wishing that they could change my life, that whoever it was could help me end my marriage and give me a reason to leave. I wanted to love and be loved again. I sometimes wished that maybe I should've taken the 'gay' route in life. Should've found a decent guy to be with. Maybe if I hadn't met Laura, would I be with a woman now? But then again, I wouldn't have had my kids, and I would never regret having them.

All these 'maybe's' and 'what if's'. No point dwelling on the past, and thinking things that were never meant to be.

Then it happened. Six weeks after the first contact, I got the note. It was delievered with a bunch of flowers to my office on the Monday morning.

Daniel The time has come for me to reveal myself. Meet me outside the Farmhouse restaurant at 7.45pm tonight. I have booked a meal there and I hope you will dress for the occasion. Please come All my love, your secret admirer xxx

"FUCK!" I said outloud. Mary rushed in.

"Are you ok Daniel?" She asked.

I showed her the note."My God." She replied. Then "Oops sorry daniel. It's just...welll..."

"Yeah I know. This is it Mary. Tonight I find out who my secret admirer is." I said leaning back against my leather chair.

I got myself ready that night although I really don't know how I managed to shower and dress myself. I was a nervous wreck. Laura didn't know of course, but she could tell I had something on my mind. She went out before me and I put on my best suit, wanting to impress my secret admirer. Not that I figured I needed to impress by the sounds of it.

My palms were sweating as I drove to the Farmhouse restaurant. I loved it there and the food was delicious. This person obviously either had good taste, or knew that I liked it there.

I parked up and checked myself in the mirror, wiping away the sweat that had gathered there. I wondered how they must be feeling right now. I was 5 minutes early but I got out and waited at the door entrance.

I checked my watch and the minutes rolled by so slowly. It was 7.55pm and I figured that it was all a joke, that someone was playing with my mind. I was just turning to leave when a hand grabbed my shoulder and a male voice spoke.

"Where do you think you're going." I smiled and turned around to see who it was.

I gasped. "ANDY."